Part II of Amma...

JOHANNESBURG: So Oscar Pistorius, the much revered Paralympian, is handed out a 5-yr sentence for culpable homicide. He shot and killed his then girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp last year, ‘mistaking her for an intruder’. The whole story, as it unfolded, provided our ace athlete enough opportunities to show us his other talent as well. With all his histrionics on display, Oscar could try his hand at acting. In fact, I see a bright future for him as a reality show star. Don’t believe me? Let’s recap the events, as recounted a million times already on TV, of that ‘fateful night’. So Oscar wakes up to the sound of what he believes is an intruder in the loo(!) So he doesn’t want a petty burglar using his fancy washroom, panics, doesn’t turn on his side to check if Reeva is still in bed but just picks up his gun, drags himself to the loo door and shoots blindly. Then it dawns on him that the person could be Reeva. However, the girl is as good as gone. Neighbours are reported to have heard a woman screaming that evening. It could either have been the couple fighting and Reeva locking herself in the loo, fearing for her life. Or she had already been shot so she was crying out in agony. But no, if we are to believe Oscar’s lawyer, it was the athlete himself crying aloud. For the love of God, why couldn’t someone in the court give Oscar a good, hard pinch on his arm and hear him squeal. Just to check! The courtroom drama that ensued could put any scriptwriter to shame. Oscar hollered, he retched in a bucket, he couldn’t hear the graphic description of Reeva’s bullet-riddled body or even look at its pictures. No wonder we have associated ‘Oscar’ with fine acting all these years. Funnily, the very disability that Oscar spent all of his life overcoming and even overlooking came to be discussed threadbare. I am not sure how this man sat through innumerable hearings while lawyers, psychiatrists, psychologists and what have you argued over his disability and how it can impact a person’s psyche. I am also not sure how this man allowed his defense team to use his ‘disability’ as his fig leaf. After all, his mum raised him believing that he was not disabled. So how could he, to save his skin, then turn around and say he panicked when he shouldn’t have as he was disabled? Isn’t it like my saying I am a level-headed person because my mom told me so. But I can beat my husband black and blue because actually –and I will have experts vouch for it – I am a dormant volcano. The story turned even more bizarre when we learnt Reeva’s parents were getting a few thousand rands per month from this same man who ended up killing their only child. And now they are saying they will return all that money. So why did they take it in the first place? But I shouldn’t be seeking answers, having grown on thoroughly illogical Bollywood movies. Cutting this story short, Oscar got 5 years. But like we all know, time flies. More so when part of your sentence will see you in house arrest. I am so looking forward to watching this good looking man on TV shows. Especially on dance shows where Oscar’s dance moves -- despite his disability -- will help him earn good TRPs for the producers. I am popping the corn already!